OKLAHOMA CITY—Struggling beneath greater than per week’s value of record-breaking temperatures, native homeless man Glen Lane was reportedly hallucinating Friday that he lived in a compassionate society. In response to sources, the 44-year-old former gross sales supervisor, within the throes of heatstroke, mistook a gust of wind created by a passing police automobile for the breeze of a bedside fan in a free, protected community-funded shelter, and falsely attributed his nausea and lack of urge for food to the truth that he had simply loved a big, nutritious meal supplied to him by a society that believed freedom from starvation was a human proper. Eyewitnesses described Lane as “completely delirious” and “clearly out of contact with actuality,” noting that they’d heard him incoherently mumbling “Thanks” and slurring delusions similar to “Individuals are good.” At press time, studies confirmed that pedestrians had been stepping over the useless man’s physique.
